Monday, January 17, 2011

League Wide Ban Is Coming To the NBA!

In light of recent events, it is not so farfetched to imagine a league wide ban on recreational games and gambling. With a league full of highly competitive individuals with gross amounts of disposable income, arguments and physical confrontations can be expected leading to but not excluding the occasional weapons brandishing or pistol whipping. To put an end to this tarnishing trend I believe the NBA will institute a league wide ban on recreational games starting with the most volatile.

Monopoly

Lebron James and Dwayne wade have already proved to be perceptive businessmen. Their respective contracts with the heat are valued at well over 100 million, and their endorsements are respectively within the multi-million dollar realm. This affirms that they have a keen interest for business and lots of disposable income.

The biggest opponent for the heat is not another team or another loosing slump, but the game Monopoly. That is right the board game. Picture this on a team flight back to the east coast fresh off a west coast swing Lebron and Dwayne settle in for a friendly game of Monopoly. Using all the passion and vigor, they display during their NBA games the two face off using real money. Before you know it after a brief jail stint Bosh is out of the game, Chalmers suffers a similar fate after landing on Lebrons boardwalk hotel leaving only James and a Wade. Things turn volatile when Lebron lands on Illinois ave owned by Wade but exits without paying. A scuffle ensues causing tremendous damage to the team chemistry.

Solitare
Ron Artest is one of the few special individuals in the league who can get into a fight with himself. Picture this after arriving to the staples center early the seasoned professional looks to kill time before being taped for the upcoming game. Unlike years past when Ron would go to the Liquor store Ron decides to play it safe and play a simple card game. The details are not clear but when trainers found Artest, he was actively fighting a mirror, or at least the parts that did not shatter. Maybe he heckled his self or maybe he caught himself cheating, unfortunately no one will ever know.

Memory
Demarcus cousins is an extremely talented and emotional player. He has already within his first year gained the reputation of being an immature player. Many veteran and hall of fame players have offered their advice. It seems like for every two steps forward there is one-step back.

On the court, any play can turn into an explosion of epic proportions. I am betting the same is true off the court. Case in point the potential events that are likely to happen while playing a game of memory with kids in a Sacramento area school during a NBA cares event. After being bested by 10-year-old William Johnson, Cousins demands a rematch in which he taunts the 10 year old. He even uses his go to taunt of choking. The event comes to a messy end with the 10 year old crying and school security walking pouting Cousins out of the building.

Settlers of Catan
America
n born players are not the only members of the NBA community to be effected. After settling in on a friendly game of Settlers of Catan, all hell breaks out between Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili. Imagine this after getting 10 victory points to secure his victory in the game Parker mutters the words “Qu'est-ce qu'un loser” under his breath. Understanding French Ginobili teams up with former teammate and announcer Brett Barry to get some much-deserved payback. When the smoke clears Parker is left unconscious with a 50 pound dumb bell on his crotch (a special parting gift from Berry)

War
Kobe and Shaq have had a war of words since splitting up after the 2003-04 season. Nothing seemed to be off-limits from The MVP award to affairs. Within the past two years it seems as if the two have reconciled (well about as much as they are ever going to). Picture this during one of Shaq’s legendary All Star Parties the two find themselves in an intense game of War with millions at stake. The two verbally jab at each other while keeping friendly outward appearances. All of these changes during the last hand in which Shaq’s final card wins the hand. To celebrate Shaq grabs the microphone and Insults Kobe in Freestyle Rap Song entitled "Kobe, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes part 2”


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